A little bit about everything! - Elaine Bosvik Ciarnau

 A few days in the hospital is good for finding some humour in situations you can't control. This time around, my bum was the butt of all jokes. My God, the first picture I saw was a dried out pig that had been roasting too long on a spit.  Wrinkled skin hanging off my backside with fluid filled blisters popping all over. Suddenly the peeling would start, strips of skin coming off in sheets that would impress Hannibal. Being told to leave it alone made it even itchier. I swear, going to poop there were blisters that consumed the entire poop only to pop when wiping. My wonderful nurses Kim and Lisa would check my my arse for dry cracks, wounds and whatever else could be hiding back there. I would bend over mooning them so they could have a good look. So gently, they would butter up my arse, no fear of the hemorrhoid that kept watch and would wink at them plotting to take a shot and make way for a fart or worse. They would have nice padded dressings to cover the problem areas as I wa

 One afternoon while I was at work I had to call my Mom to ask her to go to the pharmacy and pick me up some cough medicine. The store was right beside her so she agreed and I would go to her place after work. The pharmacist was a miserable man and insisted she get a certain type because I was a bigger girl and needed a stronger kind.  I went to her place to pick up the medicine and noticed it was the same brand I wanted but, it had an ingredient I was allergic to and would have to exchange it. I took the bottle and receipt and went to the same pharmacist she bought it from. I explained my situation about not being able to use one of the ingredients.  I gave him the receipt, he knew who my Mom was so there was no question it was bought from there. He saw the package was not tampered with, the receipt was from there and he refused because I didn't have the bag.  I was not in a good mood by then, grabbed my stuff and went to my Mom's to see if she had the bag. She did but it was

  Mom's Haunted House Back in the 1950's my Mom, Wilma decided to stop working as a cookee in the bush camps to raise her children. She moved to town, rented a house and decided to start taking in people for room and board. She knew two young policemen who were wanting to rent two of the bedrooms. Another woman took the third room. There were little problems with room 1 the door would open, even when locked. Windows would slam shut, smells of aftershave  would waft through the air. An occasional cool breeze would pass by without a window being open. One policeman, John, took that room as his own. The second week he started feeling like someone was watching him. He was blaming his cop friend that he did something to the room to prank him. He denied doing anything. A couple of night later the cop was startled by a noise. He opened his eyes and standing at the foot of the bed was a man dressed in a black suit. John, yelled for the man to get out. He disappeared. John thought he wa

 Going to spend a few days in a trailer at my Aunt and Uncles farm was something  I loved as a teen. I'd take one of my friends and have a great time. Usually we did something to cause problems. One afternoon my friend Judy and I noticed the fence to the cow pasture was broken. We didn't want t he cows getting out and  decided to try and fix the fence. We could later brag to my Aunt and Uncle how we saved the cows and fixed the fence. No matter how we tried, we couldn't get the fence up and had to come up with another idea. I had a brilliant thought, we would coax the cows and bull into the barn and tie them up.  We got them all into their stalls, but there was a problem. The bull wasn't happy.  He was restless and causing a ruckas.  Judy went in his stall and was cornered as she tried to secure him to the post. He just kept backing out and snorting. I had another brilliant plan. I was going to go outside the barn door and close it so the bull wouldn't see the light

 I'm sure many of us have made our way to carnivals as teens. Wanting to try every ride with our friends. Eating all the goodies that you only get from the concessions.  Playing all the games to try and win a cheap stuffed animal that you spent way too much on, knowing you could have bought a better one at half the price.  Throwing up from eating too much and going back on the rides, toting the big teddy bear with you. Those were fun times and a great part of childhood. You could always make friends with the carnies and get a free ride or a free stuffie. I became friends with a young girl who was running the tilt-a-whirl. I was 16, she was the same. She left with the carnival because of a bad home situation.  I found out during our conversations that many of the young people at the time were only 16 to 20 years old. Most had the same stories. They said travelling with the carnival from place to place was better than being at home.  They looked after each other, had a place to sleep

                                                   The Outhouse Fiasco I can't believe my Aunt and Uncle let me get close to their farm after all the things that happened. They must have thought disaster followed me. My friend and I seemed to find trouble in everything we did.  One evening  after playing hard all day, we stunk, we were dirty and wanted to have a Sauna. My Aunt started it up for  us and all we had to do was wait.  Julie decided to use the outhouse before we got into the sauna.  Both of us were overweight, Julie more so, and was shorter.  Shortly after I hear screaming for the outhouse. I figured she saw a snake, no big deal.  Again, she is hollering my name. I figured I better check, not that I wanted to see a snake or smell the outhouse, but I did go over. I open the door, there is no Julie.  Where the heck did she go? I hear yelling inside and looked down. Sitting on the shit pile beneath the outhouse was Julie.  She broke the outhouse seat and took a plunge.  She